Get down girl, go head get down!
*sigh * Don’t you just miss old Kanye?
If you follow me on Instagram (@Jalyssa_DoubleU) then you know my Monday ritual includes listening to my absolute favorite podcast Slay Girl Slay. The host, Ashley, is my friend in my head! She always comes right on time with what I need to hear. She talks about everything from bossing up to self-care and everything in between. Although every episode speaks to me, the one from May 20th titled Suit Up or Sit Down really hit home! This episode she reminded us that the year is halfway over (crazy right?! It was literally just Christmas, and now we are a few days away from June 1st. WILD).
During the twenty minute episode, she encouraged listeners to think about all you’ve accomplished so far and it got me to thinking…
Okay so a little backstory:
December 31st, New Years Eve. I was heading out to church (I try to bring in the New Year with God every year) and something told me to write out my goals for 2019. Now this is something I NEVER do. I don’t know why, I honestly think it’s a great idea, but before this time I just never sat down and did it. But now that I look back, I’m so glad I listened to that little voice.
Fast forward to today, almost six months into the year and it’s time I cross off what I’ve accomplished so far. No matter how big or how small, an accomplishment is an accomplishment and I should be proud of myself. So, here are a few things I’ve accomplished so far in 2019. Once you’re done reading mine, I encourage you to think about yours! And leave your accomplishments in the comments below if you feel comfortable. Think about every month that’s passed, from January to now. What have you accomplished? Did you set a goal to go to the gym and you’ve been sticking with it? Let me know! Told yourself you would quit your 9-5 and pursue your passion? Put that down too! A goal is a goal. And any goal accomplished should be celebrated… You gotta gas yourself up! And what better way to start than by remembering and acknowledging how much you’ve done so far?
Goals I’ve Accomplished So Far in 2019:
Being More Social
Easier said than done for me, a “social when I wanna be” kinda girl. But I’ve been working on it for sure! I even went to my first happy hour with a friend not too long ago. It was nice to chat after work instead of heading straight home. We talked about everything from side hustles to Game of Thrones (s/o to Lord EJ). I enjoyed the down time and want to keep being more social.
Focus on Finances in 3 Month Increments
I remember when I first wrote this goal down, I was 3 months????? *Soulja Boy voice * but to be honest, three months be FLYING! Since the year started I’ve been budgeting like a mfr, cutting out unnecessary expenses and I’ve even paid off a bill. Now that last one felt GOOD GOOD! I love not giving my money to these companies. Like yasss! A little more for me and a little less for them. So that was cool! Makes me want to keep paying off bills so I can keep more of MY money. Oh and did I mention ya girl finally made it to the 700 credit score club? I remember being in the 500s at a point in time. WILDIN! All I can say is God is good and budgeting WORKS. (Have you seen my Monthly Budgeting Worksheet? That’s what’s kept me on point.)
Become a mentor
I was a mentor in undergrad and grad school and LOVED IT! Some of my mentees still hit me up for advice to this day. It’s nice being able to help someone a few years younger than you, put them on game so they don’t make the same mistakes you did, and essentially witness someone grow. I wanted to keep that up and now I am a mentor for a group called Queen 2 Bee (Q2B)! This group is exactly what I was looking for. We uplift one another, we engage in daily conversations via the groupme and we support each other’s businesses and goals. Literally every time I post a blog post one of my Q2B sisters reaches out telling me they read it and could relate. Not only that, they share it too! This is what I was looking for. A group of women who are about their business! I’ve met some super cool, chill ladies and in a few days we are having a meet up/dinner which I’m excited to go to (look at me, being all social). But yeah, shout out to Queen 2 Bee! Them my girls! The founders of the org did that! (Hey Toni, Hey Ashante).
Travel to visit an old friend
Wow! Crazy that I wrote this down. This year me and one of my oldest and best friends have gotten much closer. She’s poured into me, I’ve poured into her, and it really goes to show that distance means nothing. I am going to visit her for her birthday in a few days! We plan on spending the weekend indulging in some good ol self-care. London has always been such a good friend to me. So hopping on a flight was nothing! Also it pushed me to stop being so damn cheap. Flights to Georgia be no more than $150! And if you flying Spirit it’s even cheaper (and you know I’m flying Spirit. Let’s pray I make it in one piece - you know how they be!)
Be More Gracious
Whew! I used to be such a snappy little lady. Actually, snappy is me being nice, I was a bitch. Anybody could get this attitude! Even if they didn’t deserve it. But with God and being more self-aware I have been able to get that in check. I’ve realized that I’m not even as bitchy as I thought I was. Really, I am sensitive. But I was masking my sensitivity with spice and lashing out on anyone in my way. Whew! Thank God for change. I can literally feel the difference. I am more graceful with myself and others. I am able to be vulnerable and say things to myself like, “sis are you really mad or just disappointed?” And “girl why are you so irritable? You boutta get your period?” (And most times I am about to get my period and I stay to myself for a few days lol). Happy for these realizations and this growth. Feels good.
Relaunch Website on Birthday
I started working on JalyssaDoubleU.com in February 2019. Specifically February 15th. I had a goal to be done with the content, graphics, web design and development by March 29th (my birthday). Now if you know anything about making sites professionally you know that this timeline is INSANE. It usually takes a minimum of 3-4 months to finish a site. But of course, I put all this pressure on myself to finish in 6 weeks (still so crazy to me - I can be so extra at times). BUT! Ya girl finished! And JalyssaDoubleU.com is here. Can I just say, this site is my BABY! I worked so hard on it. So many long nights, so many weekends. So many hours. But to be honest, I love it. I love this stuff! I love being able to see a project from the beginning stages and watching it flourish to completion. And the fact that I did it all alone is even wilder to me. Like I have to look at myself and foreal be like damn sis! You did that! *inserts 100 sign emoji *
And now I’m here. Using the site to get out my deepest feelings. To show appreciation to my family and friends with posts like If I Should Have A Daughter and 9 Ways to Keep Your Relationships Strong. Being my most vulnerable self with posts like Breaking Up is Hard and S/O to Food You the Realest. Being an adult and apologizing to guys who didn’t deserve my old, player-ish ways in To All the Guys I Ghosted… I’m Sorry and confronting my demons with Anxious Auntie Chronicles. This site, this blog, has saved me. It’s caught me before I headed down a deep path of self- absorption and mental health neglect. It’s my baby! And one of my biggest accomplishments to date! I love you JalyssaDoubleU.com let’s get married *kisses cheek *
Work on Anxiety
I have been playing ZERO games when it comes to my anxiety. I am taking all the measures needed to get it under control and limit it as much as possible. Between venting to my blog, meditating, going to therapy, having talks with mindfulness professionals, getting advice from my mental health guru Gabby, and reading my new favorite book Battlefield of the Mind by Joyce Meyers I can confidently say I’ve been kicking anxiety’s ass! I know how to check myself when I feel like I’m spiraling down that long anxious rabbit hole…
But none of this would be possible with the man upstairs. Big G.O.D. Man, He has really shown out with this one! As I sit at my kitchen table typing this, I can’t help but remember when things were so hard... I remember being in my apartment so frightened, so anxious, so overwhelmed. Thinking I would never be able to get past this. Thinking that this would be my LIFE. But not only did God put the right people and resources in my life to help, He came in and defeated anxiety for me, personally. Literally, all I had to do was lean on Him. And that was the best and SMARTEST thing I could have ever done! So many times we find ourselves wrecking our brains trying to figure something out. When really, God has all the answers and He is just waiting on us to confide in Him. Do you know much better I feel? When I wake up, my mind is not racing. I can walk down my street and not feel overwhelmed. I can eat, with no substance needed. I can be out in public alone and not feel scared. God did all that! He’s so powerful and I am so glad we’ve gotten closer. I hated my anxiety but I love that it reintroduced me to my God. Our relationship is stronger than ever and I couldn't be happier. (If you want to know how bad my anxiety was check out Anxious Auntie Chronicles)
Do a Mukbang
I love these eating videos! I will stay on Instagram and watch them for hourssssss! So I made one! I am going to share it soon. I recorded it on my phone and yall know Apple love being stingy with the space, so give me a little time. It’ll be up soon!
Learn to Meditate
I’ve learned how to meditate! WILD! A few of my sorority sisters have been doing it for a while and I lowkey used to think they was weird as hell. But when I tell you, it’s legit. It’s legit! It’s nothing like being able to turn your brain off. To just be able to sit still and embrace the moment. Can’t lie, it wasn’t easy and I don’t do it as much anymore. But with the help of this 30 Day Meditation Challenge on Youtube by JBittersweet, I’ve learned a lot and it’s a great tool to have. Especially if you struggle with anxiety or being overwhelmed with thoughts.
Join a Yoga Class
Literally signed up for a yoga class this past week and my first class is Wednesday! And, my wax lady who I LOVE (yall hit up Monica’s Waxing Therapy, she’ll get you baby smooth) told me about another class in the area that’s FREE! And yall know I love free stuff! Look at God! Putting people in my life to bless me. Yoga is going to be my new self-care activity. Something I can do once a week to just relax and cater to myself. I love that and looking forward to getting back into it.
Have a Sleepover
I had a sleepover for my 26th birthday and it was soooo lit! I love my ships DSDYNAMIC. We drank wine, did vision boards, cooked and had a really good time. If you know anything about me you know I LOVE MY SHIPS! Them my sisters and my future kids’ Aunties! Can’t get enough of them, really.
Help People Through My Blog
I had no idea I would be able to achieve this in such a short amount of time. So many people DM me and leave comments on my posts saying how me speaking so openly has helped them. Which is crazy! No one knows this, but I almost didn’t put JalyssaDoubleU.com out. I was feeling so overwhelmed. Then I started to second-guess myself like “can I really put something like this out? Something so personal and open?” But I am so glad I did. I am so glad that my stories are able to help others, to help you. If my posts can help at least one person I know I am doing something right. Plus, with my blog I’m able to keep it real! I can put my girls on to things like plastic penises with posts like Girls Need Love Too and put everybody on to saving money with my Money Saving Challenge and posts like 10 Ways to Save Smarter Not Harder. Again, Iove my blog! It’s my baby!
Stop This Cycle and Not Feel Guilty
Emphasis on “not feel guilty.” If you keep up with my blog, you’ve probably read Breaking Up is Hard one of my most VULNERABLE pieces (I legit cried while typing it). My on again off again boo and I needed to get our individual selves together. Although we love each other so much, after 8 years of being utterly obsessed with one another we needed to loosen our grips. We needed to end this cycle. So I stepped up and initiated it. It was literally so hard. Cause I’ve always loved this man! Still do. But it was time. And you know what’s crazy? It’s worked out for us...
We recently caught up (we can never stay away too long) and he’s doing well too. He’s focusing on his mental health, his business and giving himself more love and attention. That made me so happy to hear. Crazy how even though we haven’t talked in a while we are still so connected and working towards the same goals. Yes, when we were together we did the typical young, dumb things, but one thing for sure… we loved each other. So much that we neglected ourselves because we were so in love. We wasn’t thinking about self-care we was too busy thinking about each other and being nasty (lmao). Which is where we messed up (something that most young couples do). So to hear that our time apart has been beneficial to both of us really warms my heart. He’s even going back to church and told me he sleeps with the Bible I gave him with our picture in it. Aye, I love this man! Don’t be surprised if in a few years we somewhere married! (Here I go!)
Get Some Yeezys
*raps * YEEZY, YEEZY, YEEZY just jumped over Jumpman! (Real Kanye fans know). But, yes! Ya girl finally got her some Yeezys! I’ve wanted some for sooooo long but always convinced myself that they were too expensive (which they are). But, it felt good to treat myself. I haven’t treated myself in sooooo long. I’ve just been budgeting, budgeting, budgeting! So to do something for me, that I’ve always wanted, felt so good! Maybe Kim and Kanye will send me a free pair one day! *adds this to goals list *
Get My Teeth Fixed
I didn’t go to the dentist much as a child. And even though I have a nice smile, my teeth was jacked up in the inside! So being able to get legit dental work done felt good! I’m halfway done and glad I was an adult and took care of it. If you haven’t been to the dentist in a while I encourage you to go sooner rather than later! Cause once they too jacked up you gon have to get fake ones and we way too young for that!
Host my first blog talk
I did this almost a month ago. It was great! I enjoy chatting with yall and being able to keep it real, per usual. The first blog talk was on To All the Guys I Ghosted... I’m Sorry. I am going to upload it to YouTube if you haven’t seen it yet! It’s nice and short and I’ll be sure to let you know when it’s up there.
Decorate My Bathroom
Literally finished this 2 weeks ago and I love it!! I actually like spending time in there now. It hasn’t been decorated since I moved here in July. Because I take so many baths, I wanted my bathroom to represent my little utopia. I wanted it to give a certain vibe and it definitely does now. I love it!
Speaking of decorating, special shout out to Wayfair! Through their Tried & True program I am able to receive two items a month for FREE! God stay looking out! I remember when I first moved I didn't have any furniture, now months later I get free stuff from a huge company like Wayfair. God know what He be doing I swear!
Write a Letter to Myself
Again, shout out to my girl Ashley Leggs from the Slay Girl Slay podcast. She encouraged listeners to write a letter to their future selves and I made sure to participate. With the help of the site FutureMe.org I was able to write my future self a letter and they will email it to me in a year. I loved this exercise! In the letter I made sure to tell myself how proud I was of the progress I’ve made so far, and encouraged myself to keep taking care of me. I repeated how much I loved this new me and that it would only go up from here. This was a great activity and really helped me to reflect. I encourage you to do it, it could really make a difference.
Lastly I said I wanted to be a guest on the Slay Girl Slay podcast! And do you know my good sis, Ashley said my name on her episode Stand Out By Any Means Necessary AND she pronounced my name right! (People love saying my name wrong, it’s pronounced Ja-lisa) I’m wow! Look at God! And me and her be emailing! (I told y'all this was my friend in my head). She’s been so nice and is my virtual mentor. Who would've thought I would get all this from an online podcast? But again, God know what he be doing! And one day me and her will be friends foreal lol.
I hope reading the goals I’ve accomplished this year has helped you remember yours. Even if they’re something as small as getting a pair of shoes you’ve always wanted or something as major as completing a passion project. A goal is a goal! And you should be proud! Because I surely am!
We have to be nice to ourselves. We have to pat our own selves on the back. We stay in Queen Bey’s comments telling her to slay when really we have to gas ourselves up too!
So if you’re comfortable, tell me some things you’ve accomplished so far in 2019. Big or small! Give yourself some credit and let the world know what you’ve been up to! And if you’re feeling insecure about what you’ve accomplished so far, don’t! We have 6 more months left to this year. There’s still time! Write down those goals and get ready to demolish them. Sending peace, love and positive vibes your way. - @Jalyssa_DoubleU