I’ve been living alone for almost a year and I must admit… I’m a chef. I be getting down, okay! In my own Chef BoyarLe way. But I can’t even stunt, it makes me think of how I grew up. I see why my mom wasn’t cooking every night. Who tryna work eight hours a day, pick up your kids, go home and slave over a hot stove every night? Not I! I barely want to do it now and I got zero kids (not including my plants).

Basically what I’m saying is, I get it. It can be a lot to work all day and have to come home and cook, even if it’s just you. So I wanted to show y’all how I make it work! Since I got my appetite back and don’t have to deal with issues like in S/O to Food You The Realest, I take my eating real serious now. I’m gon eat three times a day and I’m gon get my fuel!

But at the same time, I’m cheap. I got a fifty dollar budget and I make it work. I make my list, grab my reusable bags and go to my neighborhood Aldi every two weeks. But this post isn’t about saving money while grocery shopping, if you want to tips on that you can read Come Grocery Shopping With Me, this post however is about cooking! And what to cook when you don’t feel like cooking (which for me is about 5 out of 7 days a week). So keep reading to see the simple meals I make in order to ensure I eat and get my fuel for the day.

Breakfast

Ahh, my favorite meal of the day. I’ve loved breakfast since I was a kid. It’s something about scrambled eggs with cheese, bacon and drowning everything in syrup that I just can’t stay away from. But don’t nobody wanna eat the same breakfast meals all the time! So here’s how I switch mine up…

The Classic: Eggs, Bacon, Fruit
Like I said, I love me some bacon and eggs! I tried to give up pork but that damn bacon just wouldn’t let me! I’ve been making bacon and eggs for years but now I like to be a little more fancy. I’ll add mushrooms and cilantro to give it a kick! I put the bacon on the stove first because it’ll take longer to make and top everything off with some cut up fruit, usually strawberries or bananas or both. I just started cutting up fruit though. I’m trying to be a little more healthy so instead of adding french toast to this meal I added fruit. Also this is something simple to make so you can prep it before work and take it with you. That’s what I do. I already be leaving out late, least I can do is eat when I get to work.

Oatmeal
Now oatmeal is an oldie but goodie and it’s pretty cheap too. You can get some Great Value Oatmeal with 20 packets from Walmart for $5. I add milk and butter to mine but recently I been getting more fancy (fancy af actually) and adding almonds and dried cranberries too. Just to give it a little something something, ok! Plus the more you add to the oatmeal the more it can fill you up before lunch. Oh and I use two packets of oatmeal, I ain’t as skinny as I used to be mama likes to EAT.

Waffles, Eggs, Meat
Now this one of those, weekend or “working from home” meals aka don’t make this before work because you will be late. TRUST ME. But yes, I loves me some waffles! Because I’m hella fancy I put syrup and whipped cream on mine. I’ll make some scrambled eggs with it and a side of bacon or sausage. I would say add some fruit but that’s a lot for me. I’ll be sleep before I put the fork down (#idis)

Grits and a Meat
I love me some grits! I used to not know how to make them but ever since I discovered Quaker Oats’ Instant Grits I be whipping it! I’ll use two packs of these, add some seasoning, cheese and butter. Needs that butter! Also I’ll have a side of meat. I was fake trying to become a pescatarian but it’s hard for me not to eat meat with my meal (as you can see with my first few options). I haven’t tried making shrimp and grits yet but I feel like it’ll be simple. Just make the grits and put the shrimp on top. Right?

Last but not least… an oldie but goodie...a simple but satisfying meal… french toast sticks.
Yup, that’s it. No meat, no side of fruit, just french toast sticks with syrup. Lots of syrup. Now this is a favorite of mine because it requires the least amount of prep. If all my dishes dirty, which half the time they are, I can put these on a plastic plate (major key) put em in the microwave and bam! Issa meal. I get my french toast sticks from Aldi for like $2. This is perfect for when all your dishes dirty, you don’t feel like cooking or you just craving em. Don’t sleep on french toast sticks, they’ll get you right!

Lunch

The second most skipped meal of the day, after breakfast. I don’t know why people sleep on lunch. I personally get too hangry when I don’t eat lunch so its a necessity for me. My lunches be hella simple too, here’s what I usually make…

A sandwich
If you know me you know I lovesssss me a sandwich! My Granny used to make em for me and my sister all the time and now we pros at it. Because I mess with y’all, I will teach you how to make my deluxe sandwiches step by step. All I ask is that you don’t try and sell the recipe to no high-end cook book because I will sue for copyright infringement.

Step 1: Get two slices of bread: white, wheat, multi-grain (ew), whatever floats your boat

Step 2: Get a plastic knife (I use as little real dishes as possible) and dip it into your choice of mayonnaise, miracle whip or sandwich spread. Glide the knife across both pieces of bread. Hit the corners... Feel the smoothness of the spread massaging the bread. Be gentle with the sandwich, it is your friend.

Step 3: Next grab ya meat. I like using turkey, but again, choose what floats ya boat. Now me, I lays it on thick! I get the Lunch Mate Turkey from Aldi’s (only 49 cent) and use the whole pack. Ain’t no skinny sandwiches, I like mine BBW (that means big beautiful women, it’s a Drake lyric for all the old people reading this). The more meat the better! Remember this is your fuel. When you go to the gas station are you stopping at $19.95? Exactly! So don’t stop with just two pieces of meat, you might as well use the whole pack, stop being cheap! (I’m one to talk).

Step 4: Now it’s time for the cheese. I know I have a history of being cheap but one thing I don’t play about is my mfn cheese. Kraft only! Yes its high ($3 is the cheapest I’ve ever seen it) but it’s worth it. And some things you just gotta spend a little more money on because you know it tastes good. But, ain’t no shame in the gas station cheese. Do you, boo! This your sandwich, but just know, Kraft got that fire on my kids (plants).

Step 5: Next is my absolute favorite step… now if you know me you know it’s one condiment I can’t live without. What you think it is? Rhymes with custard. Rhymes with bustard (what’s a bustard?) You guessed it, MUSTARD. Ugh! I love me some mustard! If I could get mustard tatted on me I would! (Just kidding). It’s the best condiment I ever had in my life and if you don’t like it I feel bad for you son. I got 99 problems but mustard ain’t one (another song lyric). Anywho before I have a whole orgasm off mustard here’s how I apply mine: I shake the bottle first (major key) pop the lid and get to work! I like doing my mustard in zigzag lines! Add some character to the sandwich, you feel me? Then I get my plastic knife and move it all around, in a very sensual motion. I personally only put mustard on the slice with the cheese, but I’m a little OCD, so to each their own.

Step 6: Lastly I put the pieces of bread together, cut them in either a rectangle or triangle, add some chips and a pickle and bon appetit! Issa meal meal. Don’t tweek on sandwiches. That’s how I got this new weight up on me! I knowwwww you see it *young joc voice*

Tuna
Tuna is hella easy to make too! I make mine hella simple because I hella don’t be feeling like cooking. You boil some eggs (2), open the cans of tuna (2), drain the stinky water, put it in a bowl, add some mayo, cut up the eggs, add some seasoning and wah-la! Issa meal. I like to eat my tuna with, you guessed it, a pickle! Pickles just give everything that umph it’s missing. That little crunch! That juicy center. Get you some pickles and if you don’t like pickles… get me some pickles.

Next is something a little more fancy: a chicken salad. I say it’s fancy because you gotta actually use a pan for this one, unless you buy chopped up chicken separately and if so you fancy as hell! But us not so fancy people like me make their chicken salad like this: put some butter in a skillet, move it around, season your chicken, actually let me take that back… WASH YOUR CHICKEN (I don’t care what them videos on Facebook say), then season your chicken. Put it in the skillet, flip it back and forth and boom it’s chicken. Then get your salad in a bag, pour the dressing in the bag, shake it up (this helps you stretch the dressing, you know the little baggies they give be small) put it on your plate and add the chicken. And if you’re feeling like super healthy and fake vegan, eat your salad with some water. Omg so fulfilling right? (sarcasm)

Last on the lunch menu we got something simple af! Something so simple you can have your kids make it, something so simple you can have it done in under 5 minutes, something so simple you gon make it right now. Yup, you guessed it: ANOTHER SANDWICH! But not just any sandwich, A GRILLED CHEESE SANDWICH. Aye, I love me some bread! That’s why my thighs getting bigger, cause im gone eat me some bread. I knowwww you see it *Young Joc Voice *. So here’s how to make a grilled cheese. You literally grab a skillet, preferably a clean one (yeah I be dirty sometimes - don’t judge) put some butter in it. Move it around. Get two pieces of bread. Put some cheese on one slice. Put it in the skillet, put the other slice of bread on top and wah-la! Issa meal. If you’re feeling fancy fancy you can put meat in the middle. Make sure you have a side too! I’ll usually do chips and a pickle, but its whatever you like! Just know a sandwich ain’t filling up most people, maybe for my Niecey Pooh Charm (hey Charm!) but not for us grown people. So get you a side, okay! This is your fuel we’re talking about lets not sell ourselves short.

Ahhh to the final meal of the day: Dinner

I used to love saying “I can’t cook” and it was mainly because of this entree right here: dinner. Dinner can be intimidating. When I think of dinner I think yams, collard greens, ham, roast beef, short ribs, baby back ribs, lasagna, dumplings, turkey legs, and a whole bunch of other stuff I don’t know how to cook. But the reality is, most if not all of that is not everyday food. That’s Thanksgiving/Christmas food! How many people you know making ham on a random Tuesday? Not I! Not to mention ham is high and I ain’t got link (sidenote you know somebody selling link? Put me on).

So here are a few everyday, simple things you can make for dinner that won’t take long and won’t take a lot of pots and pans:

Fried Chicken
Not tryna play into the stereotype but when I tell you I loves me some fried chicken! OMG! I could eat fried chicken at least three times a week. The bread be so bready. The inside be so insidey. Mmm! But when I can’t keep going to Popeyes (make sure yall try that new chicken sandwich and do the surveys on the back for a free 2 piece and biscuit) I make my own. Fried chicken is honestly hella simple: you get your flour, pour it in a plastic bag, season your chicken (black people love Lawry’s - get you some lawrys) throw the chicken in the bag and get it all nice and covered. (If you’re feeling fancy you can add an egg to make it extra crispy - I usually don’t though I be tryna save my eggs!)

But remember, this is our fuel we’re talking about so we need some sides! Gon and get you some shells & cheese (Aldi has em for like $3) put them in the microwave or on the stove (I do the microwave - less dishes) and get you some veggies (we need our strength). My go-to is peas. These be peas in a bag! So you put the bag in the microwave for like 5 minutes, take em out, season em and wah-la! Issa meal. You can add a roll or garlic bread too of course, your choice.

Next is a fave: pasta!
You know I just learned how to make pasta foreal? Like a few months ago to be exact. My pasta was either too crunchy or too soggy but now, with practice, I make it jussttt right. So I’m not gon tell you how to make pasta (read the back of the box, that’s how I learned) but I will tell you what you can add to make it fancy! So I’m a fan of alfredo pasta. So I get some alfredo sauce, put that on the already done pasta, get some shrimp, (wash your shrimp) cook your shrimp! Then throw that in there too. Sometimes if I got money money, I’ll put crab meat in there as well. You season everything of course, make you some garlic bread and yup you guessed it. Issa meal. You can also add broccoli to yours too. But again, I be tryna save so only one extra ingredient for me. But do you boo!

Salmon
Salmon is pretty easy to make, only takes a few minutes. You wash it off, season it, put some butter in the pan and keep flipping it until you feel like it’s done. Salmon is one of those meats that don’t take long to cook so if you ain’t flipped it in over 10 minutes I’m sorry but it may be nasty… it’s okay though. Just throw some mustard on it, it’ll taste good! With salmon I like to have some sides. So I’ll usually make some asparagus and mashed potatoes. Both really simple meals. Asparagus can be made on the stove or inside the oven, your choice and mashed potatoes can be made on the stove or in the microwave (you already know which one I’m doing - microwave!) Salmon is good though! And its a nice change from chicken. You ever seen Chris Rock in I Think I Love my Wife? Remember when he said all they ate was chicken? That’s me! So some occasional salmon is always nice.

Next is something everybody and they mama can make: NACHOS!
Ooh yall gon love this! Now this is simple as hell: get you some doritos (or tortilla chips if you bougie like that) put em on a plate. Get you some ground turkey (team no beef) and put it in a skillet. You can season it with one of them nacho/taco packets or use regular seasoning, up to you. After that’s done put the meat on top of the chips. Get you some melted cheese, sour cream (love sour cream), cilantro (wash it first) salsa, shid sometimes I even add shrimp (yeah I’m fancy) and wah-la! Issa meal meal! I love me some nachos! Its a simple meal and gets you full. Also if you don’t have any Doritos but got taco shells you can do all these same steps but instead of putting em on chips put em in the shells instead. Still good. Still bussin. Still finna slam. On my kids (plants).

Lastly if you don’t wanna do all that you can just pop you a Home Run Inn Pizza in the oven. I live alone and can’t finish a whole one so I’ll usually cut the pizza in half so I can eat the other side a few days later (yeah, I’m smart!)

In conclusion, cooking really ain’t that hard. You don’t have to have a degree in culinary arts to make a good meal. I got two degrees that aren’t food related and I still be throwing down! (quick flex)

But I do however want to leave you with these last few empowering words *clears throat*

Stop saying you can’t cook! The tongue is powerful and you can speak things into existence. Nobody wants to slave over a hot stove just for their future kids to scream out “Ma this taste like boo boo!” So stop setting yourself up saying you can’t cook. You can, you just gotta try.
My second tip: try. I loved saying I couldn't cook but never really took the time to try. If you're reading this and don't have any kids or extra responsibility at the moment, try and cook more. This may be some of your last kid-free years so get your skills up before your kids be yelling your food taste like boo boo.
Third: practice makes (somewhat) perfect: Aye my noodles used to be crunchy AF! Then they would be soggy AF! But now they be just right. And how did this happen? Because I kept trying. I kept practicing. Good tasting noodles wasn’t just gon fall from the sky. I had to earn my stripes! And to be honest if you mess up that’s what $5 worth of wasted food? It’s okay young grasshopper, you gon make that $5 back don’t trip! But you wont get them noodles or whatever you currently suck at making right if you don’t practice.
Its cheaper to buy and make food yourself than eating out every night. I get it. Cooking takes time, and if you live in America its a McDonald’s on every corner (I hope y’all ain’t still eating McDonald’s) but the reality is you're going to be hungry again in a few hours so why not cook and potentially have left overs? Plus that $5 you spend at McDonald’s can get you some pasta and alfredo. Hell, or at least some bread meat and cheese. Look all I’m saying is its a cold world. Save your coins and cook. Stop giving these companies your money, they don’t care about you (harsh but true).
Last but not least, your food is your fuel. Our bodies are like cars, we gotta eat! We need fuel to keep us going. Just like you charge your phone, you charge your apple watch, you charge your airpods (yall be so fancy with all these devices) you gotta charge your body too. That’s what food is for. So eat! Take the time to eat some food. DONT. MISS. A. MEAL. Its important! Or I wouldn’t have put it in all caps.

I hope you were able to get some cool, easy-to make, won’t use a lot of dishes, ideas. And if all else fails… eat some cereal. *sings* I knowwww you see it.