Relationships can be hard. Whether it’s a relationship with your parents, a childhood friend, or a mentor. Everyone involved comes with their own special personality and perspective. Each of you come from a different walk of life and are engaging on your own personal journey. So how do you manage? How do you keep your relationships strong all while trying to keep your own head on straight? How often do you reach out? How many times a month are you supposed to link?
If this is starting to sound like a part-time job, think again. Yes, relationships can be hard. But they don’t have to be! I know this because me and eight other women have been apart of our sorority for 5 years now and thanks to God, Facetime, and a collection of other things, we have remained close. Is there a relationship in your life you want to work on? Got someone in mind who you once were close with but not as much anymore? Check out how me and my amazing sorority sisters, DSDYNAMIC, have managed to keep our relationships strong after being in Deltaland for 5 years.
1) Create a group chat and actually participate
How many of you are in a group chat but it’s muted? *waits for everybody to raise their hand* That’s a problem! How do you expect to stay up to date with the people in your life if you are blatantly ignoring them? In order to keep your relationships strong, you have to put forth effort and converse with one another. And it’s cool if it’s been a while since you’ve participated, all I’m saying is take baby steps...Unmute your chat. Send a good morning text when you can, pop in just to say hey or you love everyone. Something as small as that can go a long way. It shows that you care not only about the relationship but each person individually.
2) Get Togethers
It’s one thing to text and another thing to actually link up! The person you want to work on a relationship with is clearly someone you care for. So why not hang out? And it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. I personally enjoy more intimate settings, especially if you and the person you have in mind haven't linked in a while. Use that hang out time to catch up, and not surface level catch up. I’m talking deep, I been going through this, fill up my cup I’m running dry kinda catch up. Y'all can’t just act like the time spent apart didn't happen. Because it did. Things could have completely changed for the person you haven’t talked with in a few months, so take the time to really catch up. It can make all the difference in your relationship and give you a better understanding of where they’re coming from.
Y’all talk often but just don’t hang? Even better! Invite the person to dinner or have a sleepover at your house. Do fun things like vision boards and making funny videos. Get you some cheap wine and kick it! These moments matter, trust me.
3) Sister Updates
This is a DYNAMIC tradition! Whenever something happens in our life we get in the chat and say “Sister Update!” At this moment, all the other sisters get in the chat and read as our sister tells us the latest, amazing thing she has done. It can be something as small as “I didn’t cuss out the waiter for taking too long today” or “Ya girl just got a raise!” Keeping the people in your life updated will keep y’all close. Everyone in DYNAMIC doesn't stay in the same state, so these moments are pivotal. And don’t be shy, put some pics in there too! Just got a new pet? Let us see our niece/nephew! New hairstyle? Yassss show us sis! Let us hype you up and remind you how awesome you are! These sister updates not only keep us informed, they help us pour into each other’s cups and make us feel full. Because what are sisters for?
4) Throwbacks!
Speaking of pics, I love me a good throwback! How long have you and the person/people been cool? I’m sure y’all got some throwbacks! Drop them in the chat. That’s a conversation starter right there! Chat and laugh about how far y’all have come. The dudes you thought you would never get over but you out here flourishing. How your eyebrows went from frizzy to flawless! Not only will these pics make you laugh, they will make you smile... And will remind you how much y’all have been through together… And will make you want to keep the relationship going.
5) Give each other the benefit of the doubt
Everyone has their own life and as we know, life can be hard. The same issues you’re struggling with may be the same issues your parents, friends, or partner are struggling with. So give them the benefit of the doubt. Give the people in your life room to change and celebrate those positive changes. Your friend used to be selfish but isn’t anymore? Congratulate them on the changes. Your friend used to get super wild when they drank dark liquor but not bout that life anymore? Get them some coolers and embrace the new them. The reality is, everyone changes. Things evolve. Butterflies start as caterpillars but they don't stay there. So give the person you're trying to build with the benefit of the doubt. You’d want them to give it to you...
6) Support one another through the good and bad
DYNAMIC is full of hustlers, go-getters, and boss ass women! And although we are all on our grind, a little support never hurt! Go to your friend’s events, share their business pages on social media, read their blog posts. Be there for the people in your life! When they make it big (and they will make it big) they will be able to look back and remember when you supported them. Plus, these simple gestures literally take two seconds. Don’t be petty, help ya friend out.
Now that’s the good, but there can be some bad and sad… Life is real and the reality is we have no control. People’s family members pass away, work environments aren't always the best and relationships end… so again, I encourage you to be there for your friends. Having someone to talk to can be just what that person needs to push through another day. Support, in general, goes a long way. Support the people in your life. Show them you genuinely care. It makes a huge difference and your relationships will continue to flourish.
7) Photos in the home
This is probably my favorite of them all… pictures! I love having pictures of my sorority sisters in my home! Their smiles make me happy. The moments we’ve shared make me smile. And that’s the kind of energy I want in my home! So put some pics up! Cherish those moments and look at the photos when you’re feeling down and need a pick-me-up. I always say, I want my future kids to look back at my old photos and see Mommy had a life too! Used to be LIT lit! But in the meantime, I can look at the pics and remind myself how much fun we have when we are together. And who knows, after seeing the pics and getting happy, it may encourage you to set up the next get together. The only thing better than old memories are making new ones.
8) Be Compassionate
Adulting is hard! That’s what this whole site is about. Every day won't be a good day and stress is real. So be compassionate in your relationships. Your friend just left her man and being a tad bit spicier than usual? Check on her a little more often to make sure she's good. Someone just lost a loved one? Be there for them. As much as you can. Whether they need to cry or just sit in silence. Compassion goes a long way and can help you really see where your friend is coming from. It will also give you a better understanding as to how they move. My ships have been so compassionate with me. At some of my darkest moments they were there for me. They uplifted me and reminded me who I was and who I was not! So I would be remiss to not be there for them. These are my sisters! And I got them just like they got me! PERIOD.
9) Pray for your relationships
The devil stay busy! So speak life over the people you love and care about. Pray that God keeps them safe and protected. Pray that God blesses them with what their heart truly desires. Pray for their health, their mind and their family. Speak good things on their life. This is soooo important. So many people are getting taken away from us, at every age. So take a few minutes out of your day and pray for your relationships. It’s one thing to go to the club with your friends, but a totally different thing to pray for them.
Now I could not end this without showing some direct love to the women who make up DSDYNAMIC. I love each of you and thank God that He placed you in my life. I thank God that He has kept his hands over each of you and kept you out of harm's way. He has blessed all nine of us with college degrees and jobs. He’s blessed 3 of us with healthy and happy children, and I know He will bless the rest of us with that too. I’m forever thankful that He has kept us close and humble.
Ships, I do not take our relationship for granted. I appreciate each of you for dealing with me when I wasn’t my best and embracing the new me. I appreciate the long talks, letting me cry and vent, and pulling up on me when I was depressed and lonely. I appreciate you all for being my sisters.
I promise to always put forth effort to stay close and to be the best sister I can be. I literally cannot believe it’s been FIVE years since we’ve joined Delta. We were all JUST at the informational. So for it to be five years already is insane! Crazy AF! We’ve all grown so much! Literally so excited to spend the rest of my life laughing, chilling, talking, and cracking jokes with y’all. You ladies are my sisters! Y’all my future kids’ Aunties! And if I ever get a cat again y'all gon’ be her Aunties too! I love each of you dearly and I cherish this sisterhood so much. Here’s to 5 years and 500 more!
- Love Your Favorite Tre,
Jalyssa T. Woodall, TRE Amiable, Freaky Tre, TRE Bae, JMoney
D.S.D.Y.N.A.M.I.C. | April 19, 2014 | 4:39:08AM
Kelsey H.- Captain ConC.R.E.T.E
Shelaina R. - 2xpeD.S.T.ious
Jalyssa W. - TRE Amiable
Kathryn M. - QUAD V.I.G.O.R.O.U.S
Ashley H. - CHAROITE “THE ROCK”
Javiera G. - Lady Red’ Exquisite
Kristen L. - Serene E.N.T.I.T.Y
Paulette H. - Viv8cious Allure
Gaibriel W. - Anchor Solid S.T.O.R.M
OO-OOP!
