It all started November 2018. I had been living in my apartment for almost three months and I was… lonely.
Fact about me I’ve always hated the word “lonely.” I associated it with desperation, weakness, longing for another’s touch… along with a whole bunch of other stuff it wasn’t. When really the definition of lonely is “without companions; solitary.” And yes, I Googled that.
That’s how I felt living alone. And if you read Breaking Up is Hard you know the adjustment of being newly single and living alone was hard for me. So to speed up the process I decided to get a pet.
Okay so another fact about me, I don’t like dogs. Never have and I wouldn't be surprised if I never do. Dogs are hyper AF. All that jumping and sniffing and rough play. Whew I’m getting anxious just thinking about it! Not to mention you have to take them out to piss and shit. And I don’t like their hair or their smell, or all that barking. In conclusion - I’m not a dog person. But I am a cat person.
Or maybe I should say a Lucky person.
Lucky was my grandparents’ cat who became my cat once they passed away. My Grandpa brought Lucky home when I was six years old and even let me name him! Lucky wasn’t a kitten when we got him, actually no one really knows how old he was. But we do know he was an adult cat by the time he got to us. My Grandpa did not get him from PAWS or a local shelter. My Mom says he got him out the alley (not sure if that was a joke or not) but either way Lucky was our cat and soon became family.
Lucky was perfect because he understood us. He knew how sad my Granny was when my Grandpa passed away in 2003 and was stuck to her like glue. I remember it like it was yesterday... Hyper, young, wild and free lucky turned into chill, “I’m here for you” Lucky.
He was honestly the best cat ever. And very sweet.
He didn’t do too much and he never wanted to play (which I was cool with). He wasn’t the typical, hissing at anyone who walked by cat. Lucky was well liked and chill. He did his own thing and stayed in his lane. He knew our boundaries and respected them.
So when my Granny passed away in 2007, naturally Lucky came to live with me, my Mom and sister. We got so close then. In true Lucky fashion, he could tell how sad I was after my Granny was sent home and made sure to-physically be there for me, all while not doing too much.
As years passed Lucky got older and older. Eventually he moved out of state with my Mom (yes, he took a flight) and lived with her until he had to be put down. It was such a sad moment. Lucky had been around since I was six years old. I loved that cat. I was next in line to get him, but at school I could never have a pet...
As I’m typing this I feel myself getting sad. There was no one like Lucky and I still miss him. To this day I am hesitant about getting my kids a pet because those deaths just hit different! LBVS.
But okay, I got a little side tracked *wipes tears*
Like I was saying, when I moved into my apartment I was lonely and wanted a pet. So I looked into getting a kitten.
I wanted a kitten because my apartment isn’t huge. I figured a kitten would be better than an adult cat aka a jaguar walking around. So a kitten it was! I went to a local shelter determined to get one and stalked their kitty pics online. But going and seeing new felines was harder than I thought. They were cute but none of them were Lucky. He had only been put down a few weeks prior and the wounds were still hella fresh. So after having a moment at the shelter and crying (yes, crying) I decided I needed to wait a little longer...
But again, I was lonely. And like the true, impulsive Aries I am, I gave myself an ultimatum: get a kitten or some new D to sit on. And because back then I was team I hate all men I decided to go the kitten route!
This time I did a little more research and looked into PAWS. Ironically the week I looked they were having their annual Adopt-a-thon! I took this as a sign…
“Wow so the day I decide to look at their site they have an adopt-a-thon? It was meant to be.”
And again, I can be impulsive. I was trying my hardest not to accidentally start talking to a new guy, get touched, have him fall in love with me and dip like I used to. So I needed to hurry up and get this damn kitten!
Anywho, I go to the Adopt-a-thon and it was so cute! They had a Christmas tree, a Santa and lines of people waiting to play with the animals and adopt. I was walked to the room with the 3 month kittens and OMG they were the cutest things! You ever seen those folders in Walgreens with the small kittens and big eyes staring at you? These were those kittens and I was in love!
But the attendant hit me with some news. She let me know because these kittens were so small and active, it would be best to get two so they can play together.
*record scratch* she had me fucked up!
I’m thinking like girl. I am not boutta get TWO of these mfrs. That is not in my plan. My plan was to have one, well-trained, comes to the grocery store with Mommy, kitten. Not two. That shit was hella dead!
Then I was escorted into the other room where the older kittens were and saw this cutie I could not take my eyes off of. She was white , black and gray and looked like a younger Lucky. She was the chillest in the room of kittens and I just had to have her! They said her name was Grizabella (ugly as hell) and she was seven months old.
Again, they suggested because she was a kitten and still young it would be best to have another kitten for her to play with. Especially because of my work hours…
So like any other person who wants something bad… I lied.
I lied and said I only worked 30 hours a week and would be able to spend lots of time with my baby girl. Soon after I got all her paperwork, a free bag of food, a few tips then and me and my girl were off to have some Mommy-daughter fun!
First things first though, I had to change that ugly ass name. And because she looked so much like Lucky I decided to name her Lucy! She was Lucky’s first grandchild and I expected her to be perfect (my first mistake).
Night One:
Interesting to say the least. A few hours after getting Lucy I had to attend my office Christmas party. I was sad leaving my first-born at home but I also couldn’t miss this party. I had gotten her lots of toys, played with her a little before I left and made her the wallpaper on my phone (like all Moms do).
The party was nice! I was late (leaving your child alone for the first night is always hard) and spent majority of my time there talking about my girl. I showed them pictures, talked about how much she looked like her Granddad, and by the end of the night other pet moms and dads were giving me advice. It was lovely. I was apart of a community of kitty parents and we all shared the same love for our felines.
And when I got home guess who was waiting for me at the door? MY CHILD. Lucy! These are the moments I longed for! Not coming home to a man scratching his balls on my nice couch, but a cute little kitten who couldn't talk and liked to nap as much as me. It was perfect...
The first night was coming to an end and it was time for me and Lucy to get some sleep. I set her bed on my couch (I refused to have my kid sleeping on the floor), rubbed her head and prepared to go to sleep.
But she wasn’t going.
Lucy kept me up ALL NIGHT. From jumping on the kitchen counter, to scratching the couch to rubbing all up on me. To say I was getting irritated was an understatement. I had been out all day getting her toys, then I went to the holiday party (got lit) and just wanted to sleep. How could my child not understand? Why was she doing this to Mommy?
In conclusion we didn’t go to sleep until 4AM.
And she woke me up at 7AM, wanting to fucking play.
I was blown but trying to be patient. Fact about me I love to sleep so them 3 hours wasn't shit, but as a new Mom I knew sleep would have to be sacrificed so I gave my child the benefit of the doubt.
Night Two:
I went and got Lucy even more toys. I loved being able to go into Marshall’s and find cute stuff for my kid! I got her an automatic toy, bouncy balls, a jungle gym and even cat nip. All these nice toys so she could entertain herself.
But that didn’t work. So night two consisted of me pushing Lucy off my bed (gently of course).
Day Three:
It’s Monday and I was thirsty as hell to get to work. My child was stressing me out and I needed a break. I was groggy because I hadn't been getting any sleep. As I was pouring my coffee in the office kitchen a guy I chatted with at the holiday party sparked some conversation….
“How’s the cat?” he said with a huge smile on his face.
“Exhausting” I said. “She won’t let me sleep.”
He’s had a cat for many years and told me three words I’ll never forget: wear her out.
He broke it down to me like this:
“She’s a kitten, full of energy wanting to play. Her mom is at work all day and when you get home she wants to have fun. She doesn't know you're tired she’s just a kid. So when you get home play with her for about 30 minutes and she’ll chill. Then play with her again before bed and you’ll be able to sleep throughout the night. Trust me, it works.”
I was so thankful he told me this. I needed sleep but I also wanted to be there for my child. So I was willing to push myself to be the best Mom I could be.
Night Four:
My colleagues words really resonated with me. My child was only seven months and I needed to be more patient with her. So I went and got her another toy and played with her for a good 20 minutes before bed. We had a ball! She ran, jumped and eventually fell right to sleep. It was lovely! I was happy! My child wasn’t as annoying as I thought...
Night Five:
I was no longer team “what did I get myself into” and more “Hey yall come meet my kitten!” I was a proud Mom and wanted to show off my child. Damn near was finna put her in a commercial! (All parents want their kids in a commercial and I totally understand why now).
So we Facetimed her Auntie Kat and Cousin Charm…
Her Uncle Moof came and spent time with her and I flooded my group chats with usies of me and my Baby Girl. This was the part of motherhood I loved. She was so cute and our selfies screamed “Mommy ain’t slept in 3 days but I love my child. Isn’t she cute?”
But don’t let these cute pictures fool you. Cause nights six and seven Lucy started to act a damn fool.
So I had to do what every parent hates but knows is necessary… I had to start disciplining my child.
I refused to hit my baby so I had to get creative and get something else to do the trick: an AHT AHT bottle.
Think of little kids, not the kitten ones, but like real kids. With teeth and shit. Well when they’re touching something they have no business touching their parents usually say something like “aht! Aht! Don’t touch that.” Or “Aht! Aht! Sitcho ass down!” And because Lucy did a lot of touching of stuff she shouldn't be touching, scratching, jumping and a lot of other annoying little things I decided to get an aht aht bottle for her little ass.
I got the bottle from my favorite store (Dollar Tree) and it was filled with water. I rarely really sprayed her with water (cats hate water) but I definitely pulled it out on her several times just to scare her…
But it didn’t work. My child did not listen to her Mommy at all and it was getting the best of me…
Night Eight:
So I put her little ass in the closet. Now before yall go calling the the PP (Pet Police) on me, let me explain. My closet is big. It’s a walk-in and the bathroom is connected to it. So Lucy had more than enough space to jump, claw and whatever else the fuck her hyper ass wanted to do.
This way she could have her own space and I could have mine. Works for everyone! Her first night in the closet I got the best sleep. I lit a candle, had me some wine, used my plastic! I felt like my child went and spent a night at her daddy house and it was lovely! Her litter and food was in the room with her so I knew she was good. Plus in the words of Jody Momma from Baby Boy “Momma gotta have a life too!”
The next morning I go in the closet and it was STANKIN. Naw not stinking, STANKING. I don’t know what her little BAD ass was doing but she had my vanity/closet/bathroom smelling like straight up litter! Some of my clothes were off the hanger, she turned my beauty blender into a toy and ripped up my shower curtain. I was appalled! Mommy worked so hard to buy her all these nice toys. I played with her after a long day of work and she just gon fuck up my shit like that? I wanted to beat her little ass, I swear! But the patient Mom in me decided to take the high road and be more strategic.
Day Nine:
So I got a gate.
This gate would give both me and my daughter some space without her having to be locked away in the closet. I loved my space but I had to put my Mom hat on and put my child first.
But the gate didn't work. She slid her little ass right through it and I was blew! I had spent hella money on toys, wasn’t getting any sleep and was hoping this gate would solve all my problems! But nope, my child disrespected me for the umteeth time and at this point I was over it.
Day Ten:
I came home from the store and sat in my car soaking up my last, kitty-free, minutes before having to go in the house and deal with my hyper ass child. As I sat there I felt so much peace. I could sit back in my seat without getting jumped on. I didn’t have to aht aht nobody, I could text without getting interrupted. It was nice. I missed these moments. I loved my child but I wasn't sure if I could do this forever.
But again, I decided I had to be patient with my child. She was only seven months….
But on night eleven she had me fucked up.
Night Eleven:
This night Lucy acted a DAMN FOOL (per usual). I had set up the gate, again, with extra barricading around it. Welp, that didn’t help. She jumped over all of it. I felt so defeated. My child didn’t have any home training and I was highkey becoming over it. I had gotten her the best of the best toys, she had top notch food, a pretty view looking out at the city and I let her run all up and through my house! So for her to disrespect me day after day had my patience was running thin! So I did the unthinkable….
And looked at her paperwork.
It’s terrible that I’m smiling while typing this, but that paperwork saved my life. It reminded me that if I brought the kitten back in 14 days I could get my money back. I was elated!
I had visions of my life being simple again. No getting woken up out of my sleep and no more smelling kitty litter. I was strongly considering giving her back but I started thinking of why I got her in the first place…
I wanted a little companion. A little Lucky! I wanted someone to go to the store with me and a little friend I could go get my nails done with. I wanted to dress her up for Christmas and introduce her to all her cousins and Aunties. I wanted Lucy to be my child!
But she was so damn bad! And if we’re being all the way real, her little ass was another bill! All them toys, fancy cat food and that gate was not free! I was tired. Never wanted to be home and was getting more and more annoyed by the day.
So on night eleven I fed her the last of her fancy food, played with her one last time….
And on day twelve her ass was gone!
Day Twelve:
I drove to PAWS happy as fuck. I jammed to some Queen Bey and ignored her meows (I’m terrible I know). I was so happy to get my life back and that ride couldn't be quicker. I walked into the facility, filled out the paperwork and dropped her ass off right where I got her. I was FREE!
But I wasn’t done yet. I went next door to the PetSmart that I got all them toys from and got my money back! I had every receipt and every tag. Nothing looked used because I only had her ass for 12 days so the cashiers took it all back no problem. I returned that gate, them bouncy balls, her litter pan and feeding bowls. I got ALL my money back and used it to get my nails and feet done the next day. Cold-blooded, but I deserved that shit! Cause her ass was bad!
I ended up going home, cleaned the fuck out of my apartment and had the best, chill night ever.
I had such high hopes for me and Lucy. But after night two, she wasn’t my sweet Lucy, she was Grizabella and her ass had to GO! I do hope she’s doing well though. Whenever I pass by kitty litter in the store I whisper a sweet “awwww” and go on about my day. I loved my girl and will cherish our memories for a lifetime, all twelve days of em.
Oh and I also learned that I’m not ready for a pet, let alone a kid. So shout out to all the active parents out there. That shit aint no joke! Cause yall cant just put yall kids in the closet like me.
And finally to my dear Grizabella, Mommy will love you forever! You were my first child and looked so much like Lucky. I should've been more patient with you and myself but the reality is I wasn't ready to be around another human (kitty) at that time. I really do hope you found a nice home with kids who like to play and enjoy getting jumped on at night. I am sorry that things couldn’t work between us and you’ll always be my girl. Wishing you the best of luck and for old times sake….
AHT AHT!
Love, Mom
12 DAYS OF MEMORIES:
