Well here we are. Another year, another birthday, another opportunity to pour into me.
And since we last talked, I’ve been doing just that.
From solo dates, to daily walks, to setting boundaries, I have been real good to me.
So when it came to my 32nd birthday, I knew there would be no difference.
I wanted peace, luxury, and time away from my in-home office.
Last year, I planned my first solo trip to the NOLA baby! And had an amazing time! It was a weekend trip, and it was everything I needed and more.
But this year, I wanted to change things up by staying away a little longer.
Now are weekend getaways great? Absolutely! Any time we can step away from our day-to-day to relax is always a vibe. But last year I put in a lot of work. From…
Balancing my 9-5 and multiple consulting clients
Having therapy every week
Setting boundaries and refusing to budge regardless of who was on the other end
Giving TWO exes a second chance and having to break up with them… again
Having a personal trainer for six months
And not to mention getting my period every single month (which is a blessing because, who trying to have a baby right now? Not me!)
…Let’s just say I deserved to treat myself and stay away a little longer this time.
Initially I was thinking of going to San Diego.
The weather is always nice in California, and there was a seal boat tour I saw on TikTok that looked really cool (basically you get on a boat, go deep into the ocean, and see the seals laying around).
But San Diego is on the opposite side of where I live (ATL) and flights weren’t cheap. I mean, I could have still went, but it would have turned into a weekend trip again and I really wanted more time this go round’ so I kept my options open.
Insert: Tybee Island 🏝️
For those of you who don’t know much about geography or Georgia, here’s a mind-blowing fact: Georgia has islands!
Yes, like legit islands! Fifteen to be exact.
Four of them (Jekyll, St. Simons, Sea and Tybee) are accessible by car and have become popular resort destinations. While the rest require transportation by boat and are virtually unspoiled natural escapes.
Now for me to find this out almost three years after moving to the peach state, was wild! But it was also a sign I needed to explore my new home more.
It’s interesting because when I meet someone for the first time and they ask where I’m from, I excitingly say, “Chicago!” Then I follow it up with a little dance and say, “South Sideeee.”
And although I am a Chicagoan, until Chicago ends, the reality is… I don’t live there anymore. I live in Georgia and as much as I love it here, I don’t think I’ve given it a fair shot in regards to learning more about the cities within it and the culture.
So, what I initially thought would be another solo trip where I take a flight, turned into a four-hour road trip to Tybee Island.
And it was perfect because that means no flight had to be bought, so I could spend more money on accommodations and leisure.
But before I got in too deep, you already know what I had to do…
Look on TikTok!
Baby if you’re not on TikTok doing your research (or watching my videos) what are you doing? Because TikTok has a video for everything!
Need a hack to get rid of pesky wasps? I understand. Better get on TikTok!
Your chicken breasts always coming out dry and you need a step-by-step tutorial? Same! Better get on TikTok.
Do you like watching daily vlogs, solo date recaps, and get ready with me’s? Better follow me on TikTok.
Shameless plug. Lol.
So, I got on TikTok to learn more about this Tybee Island and man was I amazed.
First of all, it’s a real island! With like, water, and sand.
Secondly, it was only 4 hours away from Atlanta. Which isn’t bad considering I drove from Chicago to Atlanta which took ten.
And last, but certainly not least, a special someone only lives 40 minutes from the island...
No, not my celebrity crush Jamie Foxx. Someone even better. Someone who has poured into me, let me cry, let me vent, and has been heaven sent…
My therapist.
Fun-fact, I got my first therapist in 2020. Her name was Adrienne and she was lovely! She reminded me of my older cousin: very chill, very real, very familiar.
But after I decided to move to Georgia in 2022, my new insurance no longer covered her – so we had to break up.
I took a little break from therapy, got a new job, and decided I wanted to get back into it.
Then randomly I came across an ad for a therapy platform called Headway (this is why marketing, specifically paid ads, are so important).
And the marketer in me was intrigued, so I decided to start my search there.
I knew I wanted a black woman who I could chat with virtually, and who also took my insurance.
After a couple of minutes of browsing I came across a woman named… well, for privacy purposes I won’t tell you her real name, so let’s just call her Deja Phillips.
Not only was she a black woman, with a beautiful smile and vibrant profile pic, but her bio truly spoke to me.
It was so detailed, so inviting, so warm.
And I felt led to reach out to her, so I did.
And we’ve been chatting every week since :)
During session one, I revealed things to Deja I never told anyone. Not even my last therapist.
She just has a way of making you feel very comfortable and heard, without judgement.
And I’m not even sitting in her office every week.
We’re both looking at screens and I still feel this connection. So if going to Tybee Island meant I could explore my new state more and meet my therapist for the first time in person, then Tybee Island is where I was going!
I decided I wanted to stay for two nights: Friday, Saturday, then leave Sunday.
And if the ride had me too tired maybe take a half-day off from work on Monday.
That was still technically a weekend trip. But hey, what can I say? The budget-friendly queen in me can’t help but try and save a few dollars.
Well little did I know, the beach condo I wanted to stay at had a three-night minimum. So Friday-Sunday wasn’t even an option. It had to be either Thursday - Sunday or Friday - Monday.
And I don’t know about you, but I’d rather have the end of the week off opposed to the beginning.
After being in corporate for over 10 years I know them people don’t be doing much at the end of the week foreal, so I could take off without having to put out any fires.
Therefore, the minimum of three nights really worked out in my favor.
Plus, I deserved the time off! Like I said, I had been working really hard for the past year.
Or in the words of my therapist, “Jalyssa you work like you have three kids to take care of, you can take a break, ya know?”
Lol. I love her.
Now I could have found a different place to stay that didn’t have the three-night minimum but when I explain this beach condo, you’ll see why I didn’t…
First things first, you have private access to the beach. Literally! You open your door, go down a few steps, and there’s sand and water (see the video below).
Plus this was a condo, so it was literally giving home away from home. There was:
A master bedroom
A bathroom
Living room
Full-kitchen with an oven, dishwasher, fridge, and stove (that was extremely clean by the way, like I ain’t never seen a stove this clean before)
Televisions
A balcony
And a washer and dryer on-site
Here are some photos:
Literally everything I would need, plus more.
Now I thought about finding a cheaper place in a different complex, but I had fallen in love with this particular one so I rolled with it.
Also, shout out to the black lady on TikTok who left a full review of her time staying at the Tybee Vacation Homes, it definitely sold me! And this is another reason why you should be on TikTok, and why you should follow me (cause I leave detailed reviews too lol).
So boom, living accommodations booked.
Next: what was I going to do while at the island?
I already knew I would be having my first in-person session with my therapist on Friday morning, but what about Thursday night?
Well I wasn’t sure how I would feel after the drive, and wanted to keep it simple. So unpacking and dinner sounded great to me.
I looked up some restaurants on TikTok and ‘The Crab Shack’ caught my attention! They had a seafood menu, entertainment, and was only five minutes from where I’d be staying.
Plus, they had great reviews! Not only on TikTok, but Google too.
Fact about me, I am a huge review-leaver, and review-reader. And when it comes to reading reviews I have a strict strategy:
Sort them from latest to oldest
Sort from lowest to highest
Double check that the names and pictures are REAL
Cause when I was planning to move to Georgia almost three years ago I found a moving company with EXCELLENT reviews. I mean there were pages of them on Google!
Until I looked a little closer and noticed the names were Michael Jackson, Donald Trump, Justin Bieber, and Shakira.
So yeah, check the names too.
And no, I did not go with that moving company.
But these Crab Shack reviews were legit, so I added this restaurant to my itinerary…
I also knew I wanted to do something with water.
Fact about me, when I first moved into my own place back in 2018, I lived footsteps away from the beach – and it was amazing.
Any time I felt anxious, overwhelmed, or just wanted to feel some instant peace, I’d walk up there and it would get me together every time.
That studio apartment, that body of water, that time alone, was the beginning of my healing journey. So any time I can incorporate water into my trips, I do it.
And this time was no different. I found ‘Captain Derrick’s Sunset Dolphin Tour’ on TikTok and it was perfect. Not only would we be going deep into the ocean while experiencing the sunset, we’d also get to see dozens of dolphins jumping up and following us (turns out they love the waves that the boat makes).
Not only was this experience affordable ($40), but it was also nearby, so on the itinerary it went.
So far, I had the following plans:
Get in Thursday afternoon
Unpack and go to dinner Thursday night
Therapy session Friday Morning
Dolphin tour Friday evening
But what would I do on Friday night?
Well I knew what I wouldn’t be doing, going to no damn club!
The reality is, I’m just not in that space anymore.
I’m no longer a pot head (it’s almost been two years since I hit the ganja), I have a drink maybe 2-3 times a year, plus I get hot just standing still, so a club wouldn’t work well for me.
However I did know I wanted to do something fun! With music… and a stage!
Initially I thought: karaoke!
Cause one thing about me, I love to sing and rap! From Toni Braxton and Whitney Houston, to 21 Savage and Chief Keef. Baby, give me the mic!
But, as much as I enjoy doing things alone, I do like doing karaoke with other people. Cause not only do I want to sing, I want to hype you up while you’re singing too!
I want to do your adlibs (love a good adlib), I want to scream out, “you better sang!” and it’s hard to do all that alone.
So I changed my mind, then started thinking… what could I do that still incorporates singing, dancing, and a stage?
Then it hit me… a drag show!!
Now I had never been to one in person, but I saw the ladies of Real Housewives of Potomac attended one last season and they had a ball!
And thanks to TikTok, I found a club that had weekly drag shows, including the Friday night I’d be in town. So I got a ticket! And it was cheap too: only $16.
Not only was I excited to sing and dance along with the performers, but I was excited to see them on stage.
Since performing at open mics for the last couple of months, I’ve developed a new found respect for anyone who gets on a stage to express their creativity.
The prep, the rehearsals, the confidence! It’s a huge deal and I love to go and support.
So, drag show it is!
Thursday and Friday were planned to the T! But what about Saturday aka my actual birthday?
Well my therapist, who I love, already booked me for a sunrise guided meditation, so that was taken care of. But what about the rest of the day?
Initially, I told myself I would just find some touristy thing to do. Maybe rent a golf cart, or a bike, and explore the island more.
But after spending the first few hours of my birthday in deep conversation with my therapist, she affirmed me that I didn’t have to have my special day “extra planned out” if I didn’t want to. I could simply… Be.
So I did just that.
After she left, I went and got some breakfast to-go (I love breakfast), called my Aunt back so she could sing happy birthday to me like she does every year (love her), then came home and took the best food nap ever! I stretched out on them people couch and was knocked out for five hours.
It was lovely!
Next I grabbed my beach chair that I got for free (thanks Wayfair), my jug of water, a snack, my word finds, and sat at the beach for hours.
I responded to birthday texts and DMs, watched a few TikToks, and simply enjoyed the view.
I spotted jellyfish, ships going by, and other people out enjoying the scenery.
I ended up going back upstairs to get a blanket, came back down, and stayed there until the sun started to set.
It was beautiful, peaceful, and exactly what I needed.
After that I took a shower, did some journaling, and decided I didn’t want to go home the next day.
So I called the office to inquire about extending my stay.
I wasn’t sure exactly what more I’d be doing, but I did know I wasn’t ready to leave.
And thankfully, there was an option for me to extend, so I did!
So instead of leaving Sunday morning, I’d leave Monday instead.
Sunday was just as great as the previous days…
I was able to sleep in, which was amazing! (I’m so proud of my human alarm clock for taking the day off).
Then I booked a massage with ‘LaToya’s Healing Hands.’
The reviews were wonderful and rightfully so! This was the first massage I ever had that wasn’t too soft, and wasn’t too hard, but was just right.
She even massaged my scalp, which put me straight to sleep.
It was lovely!
After that I went to a local restaurant for lunch and got a “Chicago Dog” (rarely home but always repping) then made my way to Sephora to get my freebie birthday gift!
Omg speaking of Sephora, my sweet coworker sent me a gift card! And it literally came right on time because I had been wanting to try the new Kay Ali perfume, and with her gift card I was able to do so (if you’re reading this, thanks again girl!).
After that I went to the mall and bought a new purse (follow me on TikTok for the unboxing), then grabbed a box of pizza and a Coca Cola (I don’t drink them often but when I do they give me a rush lol) then headed back to the condo.
Initially, I didn’t know what I’d do if I extended my stay, and for a quick second got in my head and was like, maybe I shouldn’t have?
But again, this was exactly what I needed. As a true routine girly, it was nice to see me being a little more spontaneous. Breaking a few rules! Living life on the edge! Lol.
And of course, I followed all of that excitement up with a nap.
Thirty-two or twelve, one thing about Jalyssa, she’s going to take a nap!
After getting up I packed my bags, did the dishes, got the trash together, and watched the sun go down one last time…
As I looked around the condo, I was still in shock that something that was once an idea in my notes app turned into all this:
Quality time with myself
Meeting my therapist in person for the first time
Experiencing an island in Georgia
Spending my birthday with my feet in the sand with water hitting my toes
…and everything in between.
It was perfect and I am truly thankful.
Thankful that God provided me with the desire and motivation to actually solo travel.
You know how many people would love to do something like this but are too nervous or too scared?
I am also thankful that God kept me safe during every moment.
From filling my gas tank, to driving alone, to sleeping in an unfamiliar building… I was “alone” but not really, because He was with me the whole time.
Not to mention the flexibility! I’m thankful that I could take time off from my 9-5 with no issues, that I could get my consulting work done early. That I had the funds to book the accommodations, and to buy the event tickets.
I’m thankful that my car (her name is Pola) is still in great condition after being with me for almost five years. I’m thankful that I work from home and due to that, she only has 34,000 miles on her.
I’m thankful that me and everyone else on the road was safe and made it to our destinations.
And lastly, I am thankful for my life. My beautiful, chill, peaceful life.
In my 32 years of living, I haven’t had to stay overnight at a hospital once.
I’ve never broken a bone, I’ve never been robbed or in a shoot-out.
I have both of my kidneys, my lungs are healthy, and my mind is clear.
I was born with all of my fingers and toes, and I have all five senses.
I have countless gifts too! Like the art of storytelling, organizing, performing, and so much more.
I have a genuine support system.
I have discernment.
And most importantly, I have a beautiful relationship with my heavenly Father who makes this all possible.
So yeah, I’m thankful.
And if you made it this far, please know that I am thankful for you too. There’s fifty-leven other things you could be doing right now, but you decided to spend your time with me.
Til next time, peace.