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Jalyssa DoubleU · Hey, Let's Get Away

* sings the black people version of Happy Birthday *

Happy birthday to me!

Happy birthdayyyyy!

Yes yall, on March 29th ya girl turned 31! And I spent it exactly how I wanted to, doing exactly what I wanted to do.

My Usual Plans

Over the years my birthday celebrations have changed. In college I’d get pissy drunk with friends (who don’t even have my phone number now), then a couple years later I spent it with my boyfriend (who cheated on me two months later), then last year I got a surprise trip to Vegas by two people I love dearly (a month later one of them scammed me, and two months later one of them cussed me out and cut me off lol). So to say I wanted to love on myself this birthday would be an understatement.

It’s nice when people want to celebrate you, but I no longer wanted my birthday plans to be contingent on other people. So I did what any fearless, confident person would do: I started planning a solo vacation.

If You Know You Know

If you know anything about me, you know I be by myself!

By choice that is.

Because yeah, I’m friendly. I can network with people effortlessly, I can start a conversation with just about anyone, and I’m not afraid to shoot my shot whether romantically (coughs Navy Blue Jacket), professionally, or platonically.

However, when it comes to safe spaces and safe people, there’s no one I consider more safe than myself (and the Lord, of course).

I can laugh with myself, I can sit with myself, I can ask myself the hard questions.

I can calm myself down. I can hype myself up! And I spend time reflecting, talking with God, and asking Him for guidance daily.

I also know how to treat myself well! I eat good. I get waxed for me, I put on perfume for me, I clean my home for me, and I wash my sheets FOR ME. So when it came to my birthday I was like, I can do this for me too. But I wanted to do it somewhere new, somewhere I’ve always wanted to go, then it hit me…

We going to the NOLA, baby!

We, as in me. Lol. And the Lord of course!

I’ve always wanted to go to New Orleans for one thing and one thing only: beignets.

I had never had one before, but they just looked like my kinda dessert! Now I’m not crazy about donuts and cupcakes and lollipops, or none of that. But I am a sucker for bread, and I always find myself falling into the “and now for something sweet” trap after every meal.

And beignets looked like they would hit the spot! The bread be looking so fluffy and warm, with the right amount of powdered sugar… Plus it ain’t got allat frosting or chocolate oozing out (I’m not a fan of allat). So yeah! When I decided I was going to New Orleans I literally only had beignets in mind. So I knew getting some was a on the agenda, but I had to plan for the other days too…

Book the Trip (Responsibly)

Fact about me, I am a great planner. And I believe it comes from being extremely organized and dependable. Cause one thing about me, I’m gon cross my T’s and dot my I’s.

I’m going to have a list, whether that’s to go to the grocery store or to map out my budget for the year. And I’m going to call and ask questions! This is how I only pay high Verizon $50 a month.

(Me a year and a half ago) *ring ring ring * Hi, Verizon? My name is Jalyssa Woodall, I’ve had you guys for a few years now and I was curious to know if you have any loyalty perks?

A few minutes later, $20 off my bill.

Cause why? Closed mouths don’t get fed!

Also, I’m going to do my research. Whether that’s via reading reviews or looking things up on TikTok, I’m gon see what’s up before I make a commitment.

So yeah, organization is my middle name (not really, it’s Tonyea). And I even snagged the ‘Soror of the Year’ award my first year in Deltaland because of it.

So with this trip, I figured I could figure it out just like I’ve figured out other things…

I figured out how to move to Georgia in less than 30 days. I figured out how to create a side business. I figured out how to create this website you’re on right now. And I figured out how to put all of my furniture together at 5’4 and 152 pounds (pro tip: read the instructions). So figuring out how to enjoy myself in New Orleans shouldn’t be that hard, right???

In theory, no.

But when I sat down and created that Excel sheet, baby I was lowkey already over it. It just seemed like a lot to do in a little bit of time… Which now that I look back, that was a pure exaggeration. I started planning in September, my birthday is at the end of March, but follow me.

I had to look into flights, hotels, restaurants! Did I want to do activities? Did I want it to be centered around self-care? What was the vibe? What should I wear? What’s the weather like in New Orleans in March? Ain’t gon be no flooding is it?! Do I want a new wig? Do I want to rent a car?

With so many questions and with so many things to think about, I did what any sane human would do…

I took a nap.

Baby I closed that computer so fast! Cause what I wasn’t gonna do, was stress myself out about no plans! I personally cringe when I see birthday girls so flustered on their special day….

Mad that their outfit didn’t come in time. Mad that their hair ain’t giving what need to be gave! Don’t like their makeup. Don’t like their nails. Mad that they’re friends aren’t as engaged. Mad that they almost missed their group dinner reservations. Just mad, mad, mad!

And next thing you know, she’s crying. Lol. Allat planning, all those expectations, just to be mad on the day of.

So I wasn’t having that! I was going to take my time, plan accordingly, and do what EYE wanted to do. Which is another perk of solo traveling, I only had to worry about ME.

I didn’t have to worry if my friends would like the spot I picked for dinner. I didn’t have to worry about my man feeling a way if I was too friendly with the waiter (lol), I didn’t have to worry about everyone feeling included, getting there on time, or following a dress code.

So when I looked at it like that, I was… “this ain’t that damn bad!”

So after my nap, I listed out everything I would need to look into and left it there.

I also think a big thing with planning is knowing everything won’t and can’t be done at one time. But if you have a running list of things you know you need (I love a good list), then you can cross things off and feel good about how much you’ve accomplished, and know how much more you’ve got to go.

So boom. I had my Excel sheet, I had my categories (flight, hotel, activities, restaurants, etc.). Now it was time for me to tackle one thing at a time.

Treat Yo Self!

Now again, if you know anything about me then you know… I likes to save a dollar! Ain’t no shame in my money saving game!

And although it’s great to save and to be frugal, this time around, for this trip, I didn’t want to have to do that. I didn’t want to have to think about money. I just wanted to do what I wanted to do regardless of the cost.

Well, I’m not gon say regardless, because there’s definitely life after vacation ladies and gentleman! But what I mean is, I didn’t want to not get what I wanted because I was scared of being broke.

So first up, the flight.

Now one thing about me, I am a Spirit Savage! I will take Spirit with no problem! People be all, “Spirit hood! Spirit ghetto! Spirit ain’t got no leg room!”

Okay, allat can be true. But guess what else is true about Spirit? They gone get you to yo destination on time (mostly)! And in the past that’s all I’ve really cared about. I’ll get me a book bag, stuff it to the max so I ain’t gotta pay for no carry on, and bam! We in the air with it.

But this time I was like, “Jalyssa, we gon look elsewhere too honey. Now if Spirit makes the most sense then cool! But we not gon base the airline off of money only. It has to make sense! From the arrival time, to the cost, to making sure it wasn’t no layovers, we gon do what look and sound right, mkay?”

(This how I be talking to myself, I be tryna be gentle yet assertive lol).

And after doing some research I found that Southwest made the most sense.

Now people love Southwest! And I get it, those two free bags are love! But the cheapy in me didn’t use to care. Baby I will stuff this book bag, get on Spirit, and let them seat me anywhere! But that was the old me! The new me, cares about convenience, and because it was for my birthday I didn’t mind paying a little more.

So to leave on Friday afternoon and get back Sunday afternoon, Southwest was charging $296.80. So I went with that. I got my two free bags (so I didn’t have to worry about stuffing nothing) and I bought the ticket in December.

Next was the hotel. Where was I going to stay?! Now as much of a saver as I am, one thing I don’t budge on are my living quarters. Cause I need peace where I lay my head, okay?! And it would be no different in the NOLA baby!

So I did what any person who knows nothing about a city they want to visit would do…

I went on TikTok.

Aye man shout out to TikTok foreal! I really hope Joe and the Chinese and them can work it out, because TikTok got a video for everything! I saw so many hotel options, with so many tours and tips and tricks, but ultimately I decided on a black owned hotel in the Central Business District called ‘The Nopsi.’

Now The Nopsi was niceeee. Fairly new, only having been open since 2017, beautiful rooms, great view, and if I’m keeping it a thousand a thousand, I really loved it because it was BLACK. Black owned! So I didn’t mind giving my peoples my money *raises fist *

So boom. I decided I would stay at The Nopsi.

But what kind of room would I be staying in?

Now financially traumatized me instantly went into “girl you probably won’t be in the room much anyway, so get the cheap one!” But healed me was, “Jalyssa… this is for your birthday… you can get a nice room honey, it’s okay.”

Aye shout out to the Lord for helping me with talking to myself nicely these days! Cause it ain’t always been like this! Old me would’ve been like “bitch if you don’t get that cheap room and stop playing! If you want a good nights rest, get it at the crib. But while you’re there, we just need a place to stay.”

Ahh growth :)

Sidenote, if you find you speak to yourself in a similar tone, here’s a friendly reminder that the world is mean enough. Least we can do is be nice to ourselves.

So boom! I booked a room. And not just any room, I booked the Deluxe King Suite baby! And it was niceee! And not as expensive as I thought either.

Now I’m not gon hold you, in this moment I did pause and was like “should I tell these people how much I paid for this room? I don’t want nobody pocket watching!”

But if you’re here, and been here, whether reading or listening to my long and detailed blogs, I think it’s safe to assume you a real one, and ain’t worried about my money like that. Lol. So I’ll tell you!

The total came out to $600 for 2 nights. Now this was before all the incidental holds and stuff, so it really came out to like $900, but again, shout to planning! Because I booked the hotel in January.

So again, I started my Excel sheet at the end of September, I did research all of October – November. December I booked the flight, and January I booked the hotel, and the trip was in March. See how proper planning will do?! Yall better get in tune!

Keep That Over There!

Fun fact, I didn’t tell anyone about my solo trip until after my flight was booked. Simply because (respectfully) I didn’t want to hear nobody mouth.

I know America, heck the world, is crazy right now! From sex trafficking, to police brutality, to people being able to wipe your bank account clean by simply hacking the tap kiosk at checkout. It’s a lot going on in the world!

However…

I still wanted to go out of town for my birthday this year. Alone.

I know in theory it didn’t sound like the smartest thing to do… Especially going to New Orleans where there would be a lot of drinking, which heightens the chances of getting roofied (even though I literally don’t drink). But still, I wanted to go. And even more, I didn’t want fear to keep me from going.

So I didn’t tell anyone. Because although the world is full of crazy stuff, I knew I’d be covered. Because technically, I wouldn’t be alone, anyway. I would have my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with me the whole time. Can I get an Amen?!

Another reason I didn’t tell anyone for a while? Is because although I knew I was covered, and I knew I’d be protected, and I was at peace with my decision, I knew that didn’t necessarily mean everyone else would agree.

But here are the facts: a lot of people unintentionally project their feelings on to others. And what does it mean to project? Well according to VeryWellHealth.com projecting is when someone unconsciously attributes their thoughts, feelings, or behaviors to another person.

So I may have decided I won’t let fear get the best of me, but if someone else hasn’t they could easily pour that into me. And I wasn’t having it! I didn’t want to be feared into not going, I didn’t want to be feared into changing my plans, and I didn’t want fear to make me anxious. So I ain’t tell nobody until my flight was paid and I don’t regret it at all.

Disclaimer, I know the people who fear for me just simply love and care about me. It’s not a means of control or manipulation at all. So I wasn’t annoyed, I just wanted to live free and be fearless without any interruptions…

So boom! Flight paid, room paid, now…

What the heck am I going to do in New Orleans?!

Yeah I wanted to eat beignets but I couldn’t do that for 3 days straight. So I started looking into activites…

Initally I was basing my activites off of being around and meeting new people. First I was looking into plays (I love plays), then I found myself looking into one of those ‘who done it’ mystery dinners. You heard of them? Basically you play the game of Clue and eat dinner and try to figure out who did the imaginary crime.

Looking back…

I don’t know why I was looking that up. That sound boring as hell lmaooo. But I was thinking like, ‘well at least I’d be with the people.’

But noooo Jalyssa. That’s not the point! Respectfully, fuck other people for the weekend. We doing what WE wanna do. And if we don’t wanna go to no mystery dinner, we ain’t going!

Then I started thinking like… what are some things I actually like to do? Well I like to get rubbed on. Like, via massages lol. But I could do that in the A (Atlanta). Plus I went to an amazing spa back in December and I don’t know if anybody really topping that.

Then I was like, well I do like animals. Maybe I could go to the zoo and the aquarium?

And I mean, I could… But I could do that in the A too. Plus I had a boyfriend at the time, and I’m like that could be a cute little date or whatever.

And to be honest I didn’t want to do the whole art museum thing, or historical tour of the city thing… If I wanted to learn, I could read a book.

I wanted some action! Something fun! And preferably something with animals (cause I do really like animals) so I did some research and found something that sounded so fun….

A swamp tour! Lol. Yes, in Louisiana they take you out on an uncovered motor boat deep into the swamp and let you feed the alligators chicken!

And that activity included two things I love: animals and water.

Which is ironic because I don’t know how to swim and I don’t think I’d ever get a pet again (rest in peace to my baby Lucy) but still, this sounded like something right up my alley.

And again, I did my research! And these tours had hundreds of five star reviews on Google and the pictures were so nice! The alligators were huge and the motor boat was really out in all that water with no cover! It just looked super cool and I wanted to do it.

So that was one event, but what next?

Well I knew the day I got in (Friday) I would take it easy. I pictured myself getting settled into the room, checking out the hotel, getting dressed, having dinner, then making my way to Cafe Du Monde to try beignets for the first time (I wasn’t playing about them beignets). Therefore I knew Saturday would be my action-packed day. The day where I would really be outside! So I had to plan accordingly.

So like I mentioned, I loveeee the water! When I got my first solo crib in Chicago, back in 2018, I lived right by Edgewater beach and it was beautiful.

Multiple days out the week I found myself walking up there and soaking it all in. The water was so peaceful, so calming, so healing. And whenever I’m around a body of water it brings back those memories, so if I could experience something like that during this trip that would be lovely.

Insert the Get Your Guide app.

This app is perfect for people traveling to a different state or country.

And while browsing it, I found the perfect experience: “New Orleans: Evening Jazz Cruise on the Steamboat Natchez.” Here’s the description…

Experience New Orleans from the best seat in the city on a steamboat cruise along the Mississippi River. Upgrade your experience with an optional buffet dinner and savor the flavors of the Big Easy.

Perfect! I could see New Orleans, while on a boat, eating dinner and sipping on a mocktail. That was the perfect balance for me: adventure earlier in the day, followed by a relaxing, peaceful time on the water at night.

So I booked those activities and together they came out to $187.50. And I booked them in February.

So again, if we looking at the timeline:

I started the Excel sheet in September
I did research on hotels and flights in October/November
I booked the flight in December
I booked the hotel in January
And I booked the events in February

LaLa LaLa, Wait Til I Get My Money Right!

Man shout out to Yeezy! He will always be my favorite rapper (the old him) and The Life of Pablo tour will always be my second favorite concert ever (after Renaissance of course).

But I bring up Ye to say this, I felt him when he said “wait til I get my money right” — cause same!

If you read my 2022 story Lots to Unpack Here, or even my most recent one The B Word, then you know money has been ‘a thing’ for me the last two years.

Not that I don’t be having it, cause the Lord has been real good, but I just found myself in unfortunate situations that required a lot of money. Like, thousands of dollars kinda money.

But I’m not gon relive that or dwell too much on it. Just know, since then, I been bout my paper! I got a new job and started back doing marketing consulting on the side too. Thanks be to God, my 9-5 covers my expenses and the side consulting business is ‘whatever I want to do’ money.

And up until this trip, that ‘whatever I want to do’ money was simply going to my savings and paying bills in advance. Fun fact: I had paid my rent so many months in advance I had to look at my lease to make sure I wasn’t paying past when I was actually supposed to be here!

But what fun is life if all you do is work to pay bills and save? Yes, those are two super important things, and I think it’s best to have all your expenses in order before dropping a bag on traveling, but I had been being super responsible for months so it was time to live a little!

I bring all that up to say, the earlier you start planning — the better, and the earlier you start getting your finances together is even better. Cause what we don’t want, is to be outside, traveling, and home ain’t in order. Cause we know better than that!

But yeah, by the time I looked up, it was March! The trip was paid for and all I needed to do now was keep working out, keep stacking my spending money, and look up outfits.

Quick sidenote, that was another great thing about solo traveling: not having to worry about being on the same accord with nobody but myself!

I’ve heard plenty of horror stories about friends falling out because everybody was supposed to wear white but so and so wore red.

Or so and so got an attitude because her clothes ain’t come on time.

Or so and so don’t wanna go out because she don’t like how the dress fit her body.

Or so and so just started her period and now she got a attitude.

So forth, so forth, and so on...

So I’m just happy to report that I ain’t have to worry about no so and so’s on this trip. It was all about me!

If I wanted to spend an hour and a half doing my makeup, I could! Cause ain’t nobody there to rush me. If I wanted to wear heels, I could! Cause ain’t nobody there to tell me I’m doing too much. And if I wanted to bring hella options, I could! Because I was flying Southwest and got two free bags lol.

I say all that to say, I was looking forward to only having to consider me.

Now I’m not “anti-girls trips” or anything of the sort. I’m actually going to the Bahamas with some ladies this summer for my friend Cookie’s bachelorette! But I do think it’s nice to have the best of both words: a trip with you and a trip with people you feel comfortable traveling with (cause we know that can be a thing too).

So yeah! After six months of planning, I made my way to the NOLA baby! My friend London took me to the airport, my flight was only one hour and ten minutes (literally) and next thing you know I was checking into my hotel.

My first stop after dropping my bags off was the outside sitting area. It kind of reminded me of my balcony, just way bigger and fancier, but the vibe was the same. It was quiet, a nice breeze, and I was the only one out there…

I found myself not on my phone, and just soaking it all in.

This idea, this trip! Made it out of the Excel sheet, and I was doing what I said I was going to do.

That, was exhilarating in itself. Cause we can say anything! We can say we want to lose 50 pounds, we can say we want to go to Africa, we can say we want to get our credit right. But to actually do it? To see your hard work actually pay off? Breathtaking.

And in that moment, in that sitting area, I found myself so thankful...

Thankful that God blessed me with the drive and the ambition to plan a birthday trip for myself, and to actually go through with it!

He provided me with the resources to get it done, along with the funds, and the patience to see it through.

He got me to Louisiana safe and sound, with no issues.

My flight wasn’t delayed.

My bag didn’t get lost.

Nobody robbed me.

Nobody tried to snatch me.

And nobody put a roofie in my drink.

I was fine. I was safe. I was covered.

And that had to be my favorite part of all this. Knowing that my faith in God would see this trip through, and now I’m here writing about it :)

If you follow me on the socials then you probably peeped that I didn’t post at all! It was less about safety and more about just being hella in the moment. I didn’t want to worry about making stories or answering DMs. I just wanted to live and be free, and truly enjoy what I worked so hard to plan and pay for.

But I did snap some photos and videos and I’ll share them below! I may turn them into some TikToks, or I may just let them live here and in my phone. I’m not sure yet! I do know that I’m scrapbooking this trip for sure though. My first of many solo vacations. Ahh! So cool and I’m so happy I did it…

*deep dramatic sigh *

I think I like this little life.

Til next time, peace.

@Jalyssa_DoubleU