On Saturday, October 19th I attended the event “Breathe.”
“Breathe is a session on healing, living, and learning to inhale slowly and exhale deeply in a suffocating world. This event is meant to bring women from across the Chicagoland together to have authentic conversations about faith, relationships, self-care, holistic healing, mental health, hygiene, and so much more.” - BREATHE Creator, Victoria Johnson
The event started at 1PM and took place on the Westside of Chicago. As I walked in I saw a variety of women: different shades, sizes and ages. Although we all varied, we for sure had one thing in common… we wanted to breathe.
The first thirty minutes was spent eating light refreshments and conversing with the other ladies in the room. It was an intimate setting and the decore was nice to look at. When it was time to start we did an activity that really set the tone for the afternoon.
The host, Victoria Johnson, said a few words and let us know that today we’d feel “uncomfortable.” As an icebreaker, she instructed us to stand and touch the belly of the woman beside us. My first reaction was, “okay… this is different.” She then explained that we’re doing this to feel the other person breathing. It was a reminder that we’re here, we’re present and we’re breathing. A different icebreaker than I’ve ever done before, but nonetheless effective.
She then instructed us to put our phones away and on silent. Now this really stood out to me. I don’t attend many “women empowerment” or “sister to sister” type events because from what I’ve witnessed, they’re sometimes everything but that. It’s more of people being on their phone, taking selfies and doing boomerangs in front of the decor. Now, there’s nothing wrong with that, I get we live in a time where social media is the thing and this is normal. But if I’m going to an event to be “uplifted” and “empowered” I want to be uplifted and empowered, not recorded. But that’s just me.
Back to the event. There were four speakers:
Fashion Stylist and Inspirational Speaker Porchea-London Miranda
Licensed Esthetician and Natural Skincare Owner Kenya Beech
Christian Counselor Sonja Dewey, MS, LMFT
Writer, Poet, Speaker (and my new-found shero) Victoria Johnson
Each one spoke on their area of expertise and left us with some powerful nuggets of knowledge...
For example, fashion stylist and inspirational speaker Porchea facilitated an activity called the “BeYoutiful” Workshop. During the activity we were asked to answer the following:
How I See Myself
How Others See Me
How I Want to Be Perceived
It was interesting hearing the differences between how people viewed themselves versus how people see them.
For example, I said I see myself as simple while others may see me as fancy. This exercise, although simple, helped us to live in our truth and address the importance of owning who you are.
The next activity was facilitated by the host Victoria. Before she started she reminded us of her initial statement that today we’d be feeling uncomfortable…
She told us to think back to when we first arrived today, pick a person, and say out loud what you initially thought of them. The person will then reveal if they accept or deny that observation and ultimately tell their truth.
Now this was a really transparent activity and in true, anxious Jalyssa fashion I was in my head thinking “please don’t pick me, please don’t pick me.” And guess what? Somebody picked me.
The young lady said how when she saw me she thought I was “bad” aka really pretty but then thought “I wonder if she’s arrogant?” Before I could accept or deny the observation another lady mentioned she was going to pick me too. When she saw me she said I reminded her of her sister who does modeling and wondered if I did it too.
So now it was time for me to accept or deny their claims. Initially I was in my head asking how I should approach this. Should I give a quick surface level answer or tell these complete strangers my truth? Well before I could even decide I found myself saying this…
“It’s crazy you say that… because usually when people see someone with short hair like I have, they assume they’re really confident. When really, I cut my hair because I suffered hair loss from being so stressed out. Last year was tough and started to affect me physically so I cut my hair.
And then when it comes to modeling? Omg noooo. Never say never, but to be honest I’m still learning to love my body. I’ve always been really skinny and I and hated it. I would always tell myself when I finally gain weight then I’d say nice things about my body. Well now I’ve put on more weight and I still find myself talking negatively about myself. So the truth is, I appreciate the compliments...those things were really nice of you guys to say...but that’s my real truth.”
I was shocked! I had just revealed two very deep, non-surface-level facts about myself to a group of women I barely knew. While speaking I was on the verge of tears, having to stop every so often to catch my breath. This event was so intimate and felt so safe, that even guarded Jalyssa was able to open up and have a transparent moment. It was so nice, so pure, so refreshing.
Now my absolute favorite portion of the day was when Christian Counselor Sonya Dewey, MS, LMFT got up to speak. She was so poised and passionate. She made sure to look around the room and give everyone eye contact, so much that you literally felt connected to her. She discussed assessing where you are “in the meantime.”
“In the meantime” is a stage I’m sure we’re all familiar with: you’re not where you once were and you’re not where you want to be, so you’re basically somewhere in the middle. She then asked us these thought-provoking questions:
During this period of your life...
What is being questioned?
What is being shaken?
What is being taken?
How do you cry for help?
How do you shield self?
How do you allow others to carry you?
How do you create limits/boundaries to manage emotional resources?
What to do with anger, blame, resentment?
It was so deep, y’all. To the point where again, I found myself tearing up and really resonating with the things she was saying. And it wasn’t just me. Other women were crying, consoling each other, wiping their eyes and really feeling moved by what she was presenting.
Sonja gave us a really cool scenario to think about too…
Think about when a mother is in labor, the doctor instructs her to “breathe.” This makes the contractions easier to process and gives you time to focus on what’s to come (new life). When you clench up during a contraction you’re making the situation more tense and focusing more on the pain than the new baby…which ultimately makes the process harder.
This concept can be translated to everyday life as well. When we’re in “the meantime” in our waiting period, we can either tense up and be bothered or we can simply breathe and focus on what’s to come. Again, so simple yet so powerful and really spoke to me.
She then left us with some strategies to help BREATHE while in “the meantime”
Go to therapy (for all my “I’ll just go to church” people she said a really powerful statement that I wanted to share: “Prayer is a weapon but therapy is a strategy.” Meaning there’s nothing wrong with going to church and therapy.)
Exercise
Remove negative people from your circle
Spend time in nature (Nature is a representation of God)
Connect with God (consider attending a small support group at your church)
Rehearse the truth in place of lies (replacing negative thoughts with positive ones)
Eat better
Create (draw, dance, cook, write, knit, do puzzles, find a hobby)
Start saying “no”
Pay attention to your needs (all needs fall under love, worth, purpose and safety)
And my favorite strategy was she taught us how to breathe. Yes, we all know how to breathe, we’re doing it right now. But she taught us how to breathe breathe.
She started by reminding us that breathing has scientific benefits. When you exhale you’re releasing toxicity and ultimately replenishing the oxygen in your body. Then she gave us a simple technique that I found myself doing the same day and even Monday morning on my way to work called the 4-7-8.
For four seconds breathe in, for seven seconds hold it, and for 8 seconds exhale. This simple method not only relaxes you but gives you a second to intentionally breathe. Again, so simple yet so effective...
As the event wrapped up we had a Q&A session where audience members were able to give advice and share tips. I enjoyed that too. That showed that even though we had four professionals there to facilitate, our opinions and suggestions still mattered.
Then lastly, it was time for the giveaways. And yall, the giveaways were so good! Someone won a free session from stylist Porchea-Londone, a spa service from esthetician Kenya Beech, a free photography session, and so much more! As we approached the last giveaway I figured the people who won stuff probably needed it more than me (I try to think this way when I miss out on something). But to my surprise, I won the last gift! Which was a free coaching session with best selling author Karolyne Roberts. How crazy right?! Soon as I decided to be humble about not winning a raffle prize, God gifted me with something that could benefit me so much. Because one day I want to write a book.
After the event was wrapped we all took photos, boomerangs and got each other’s Instagram names. I told them about the blog and they were eager for me to send the URL. We got the nicest gift boxes I’ve ever received. It included:
Face scrub from esthetician Kenya Beech (@SimplyKenyaDenise) who has a line of natural skin care products. It was a nice size bottle too! I’m excited to try it and support this beautiful queen.
“Peace & Calming” essential oil roller from business owner Emily Troemel (@blossoming.wild). I applied it to my neck and inner wrist before work. It helps with anxiety along with a variety of other things and smells soooo good!
Two worksheets with tips to help you breathe. It included everything from simple workouts, to books, worship songs, mental care, internal care, and hot teas.
A “breathe” mug with coffee from Tala Coffee Roasters
And my favorite takeaway: a plant. If you’ve been to my apartment you know I love plants! They represent growth, life and change. So to receive one from an event where I already received so much was special. I actually placed it right on my end table by my bed.
In conclusion, I am so happy I attended this event. I posted some pics from it on my Instagram and the caption read “I truly feel God sent me there and I truly enjoyed it.” And it’s true. God wanted me to go and gain these women as resources and support. And even more, He wanted me to attend, be vulnerable, and hear relatable stories to remind me I am not alone.
Again, I am so thankful I was able to attend and I plan on staying connected with these women. If this event sounds like something you’d like to attend, leave your email address with the host Victoria Johnson here.
Til Next Time,
@Jalyssa_DoubleU
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Have an event, product or service you’d like me to review? Feel free to leave me a message and I’ll get back to you soon!
(Affiliate marketer for Wayfair & Pink Cherry)
